One Christian Perspective on Gay Marriage

This past weekend, New York state became the 6th in the United States to pass a law allowing gay marriage. Not civil unions, not domestic partnerships, marriage. And amid the friends congratulating New York and celebrating New York and, yes, loving New York, I saw a handful of conservatives. One man on the news decried the fact that our children will be referring to two men as husband and husband. Others of course quoted Leviticus 18:22, got sarcastic about when "we" can complain about others' beliefs being crammed down "our" throats or say that marriage is defined as being between a man and a woman.

And I breathe a heavy sigh.

I'll counter those arguments later. First, I want to point out that these are supposedly Christian people and they are doing more damage to the Cause of Christ than any den of iniquity ever could. It used to be that non-Christians just saw Christians as being "no fun". Remember Billy Joel? "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than die with the saints"? Well, that's all changed, probably in the last thirty years or so. Non-Christians now see Christians as hateful and mean-spirited, and we only have Christians (or people who call themselves Christian) to blame.

It started with abortion laws and the protests that go with them. People stand on corners with signs that have hideous pictures on them, accusing women who are at the end of their ropes of being murderers and minions of Satan. And now, as gay rights continue to make inroads into the law of the land, they have turned their ire against homosexuals. Signs on street corners and funerals say "God Hates Gays" and "Burn In Hell", and they're being carried by people from "The Church". And it doesn't help to claim that there is one very loud very fringe church out there when the same message -- with less vitriol, but the same underlying message -- comes from so many other churches. Do they really think that yelling at people will change their behavior? Yelling at people fuels resentment; any child will tell you that.

But more importantly, these people like asking, "What would Jesus do?" but really, what would Jesus do? While we don't have any accounts of Jesus and homosexuals in the New Testament, which I think is telling in and of itself, we do have accounts of Jesus confronting other sinners. When Jesus was confronted by a woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11) -- or rather, by a mob who had caught a woman in adultery -- he said, "Let he among you who is without sin cast the first stone," and then when the mob dispersed, and he asked the woman who condemns her and there was no one, he said, "Nor do I condemn you." He also said to go and sin no more, but that's not the point. The point is that Jesus did not say, "By this they will know you are my disciples, by your hatred of people who don't share your beliefs and religious practices." He said, "By this they will know you are my disciples, by your love for one another." (John 13:35) No one is seeing Christians' love for one another. They're seeing hatred. And do you remember who Jesus hated? Jesus saved his vitriol for the religious leaders of his time who were putting obstacles in the way of sinners who wanted to know God. He called them "blind guides" and "white-washed tombs" (Matthew 23; see also Luke 11). And here we are, 2000 (give or take) years later, with more blind guides and white-washed tombs placing more stumbling blocks between people and the God who loves them.

That's right. God loves them. God loves homosexuals. God loves adulterers. God loves people who cheat on their taxes. He even loves Christians. He may hate some of the things that people do, but "In this, God shows his love for us: that while we were sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) Christians actually believe that -- and many of them became Christians because -- Jesus came into the world and died on a cross to pay the penalty for their sins. But now that they're in, many Christians want to act as spiritual INS agents, and while Jesus is saying, "Give us your tired and your poor," they're saying, "Go away. We don't want you."

This HAS to stop. God loves you, warts and all. He wants you to be in a relationship with him, but our sin is standing in the way. That's right, our sin. Mine too. He provided the way to have that relationship, by putting our sin to death on a cross so that we, by believing in Jesus Christ, can have our sin washed clean and be in that relationship with the Living God.

Then there's the complaint that we're cramming a religious viewpoint down someone's throat. That's just backward. No one is forcing "straight" people to get same-sex marriages or even attend same-sex marriages. In the words of Wanda Sykes, "If you don't like same-sex marriage, don't marry someone of the same sex." It's the people who are trying to prohibit same-sex marriage who are forcing their beliefs on other people because they're trying to enforce others' behavior based on what they believe. But this is America --- actually, this is the Internet, which has no country, but I'm writing in America, so deal! ;-) --- we act based on our beliefs in accordance with the laws and the Constitution. And part of that is that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..." (United States Constitution, Amendment I) So when we see a law that favors a particular religious system only because of those religious beliefs, we get it changed.

And of course the argument that marriage is defined as between a man and a woman is circular at best. English is a thriving, vibrant language. When I was a child, "aint wasn't a word because it wasn't in the dictionary." Now it is. When I was a child, Internet was not in the dictionary either. Besides, who defines marriage as between a man and a woman? Not Merriam-Webster. If you check on-line at merriam-webster.com, the first definition of marriage is, "the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law; the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage." So both heterosexual and same-sex marriages are recognized. Of course, Merriam-Webster includes as their third definition, "an intimate or close union " So, I ask you. Is painting the man or the woman?

If you're going to argue that marriage is defined by God, you're back to that same forcing of religious beliefs onto others. But there's another problem. If marriage is defined by God and the union of two men or two women is unnatural, then I've got a laundry list for you.

Getting your nutrition from a pill (store-bought vitamins) is unnatural.

"Speaking" through hand-gestures (sign language) is unnatural. God gave you lips and ears. Are non-deaf people sinning if they communicate through ASL?

Wearing clothing is unnatural. When God created man and woman, they were naked and they felt no shame. It's right there in Genesis. So, go ahead and take off your unnatural clothes before you go parading with your "God Hates..." signs.

I could go on all day, but I won't.

As to the idea that our children will be referring to two men as husband and husband, I have no fear for our children, who will hopefully grow up in a world where equality is valued, where people are treated with respect and their rights are protected regardless of sexual orientation as well as race, creed and color.

But, for those people who are going to insist that people follow the law of God, ... really? You want to go there? Well, first you'd better know what the Law of God says --- at least according to the bible.

The big problem with Leviticus is that if you're going to live according to the law, you're going to have to live according to the whole law. So, what does the whole law say? Well, in part, it says in Leviticus 11:6-10, "The rabbit, though it chews the cud, does not have a divided hoof; it is unclean for you. And the pig, though it has a divided hoof, does not chew the cud; it is unclean for you. You must not eat their meat or touch their carcasses; they are unclean for you.

Of all the creatures living in the water of the seas and the streams you may eat any that have fins and scales. But all creatures in the seas or streams that do not have fins and scales—whether among all the swarming things or among all the other living creatures in the water—you are to regard as unclean. " But we don't see Christians rallying outside the city diner protesting bacon, crab imperial and hossenfeffer.

The second part of Leviticus 19:19 says, "Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed.

Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." But are Christians willing to give up their polyblend? Somehow, I doubt it.

The first half of Leviticus 19:26 says, "Do not eat meat with the blood still in it," so you can forget your nice, thick, juicy steak, too, unless you're going to dry it out first.

(Note: when I include half a verse, it's not because the other half contradicts, it's just because that part would be making a different point.)

Leviticus 19:27 says, "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." And yet, so many of the men standing on these protest lines are clean-shaven. Do they not read their bibles? --- well, in many cases, probably not.

And Leviticus 20:10 says, "If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death," but the penalty for adultery in this country isn't death, it's divorce. So why is no one standing outside of divorce court telling the adulterers that God hates them? These are the questions that the non-Christian who knows what the bible says is asking. Because he or she may also know what it says in Leviticus 19:37: "Keep all my decrees and all my laws and follow them. I am the LORD." But Christians have this way of picking and choosing which of the Lord's laws are ... convenient, which ones they can berate people with and which ones they'll be happier if people ignore.

So, now that I've driven away the self-righteous that I need to reach by comparing them to the Pharisees, and I've driven away the sinners that I want to reach by going all-religious on them, let's get to the rest of it.